I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
Randomize