I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
I need a hoe opinion
go on
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
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