What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
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