Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
I just broke up with Liz. I feel awful so I put two free rentals on her Blockbuster account.
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
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