i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
Randomize