I skipped work to stalk him.
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
