pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
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i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
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The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
we should paint friendship bongs
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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