i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
We walked through the hotel lobby in slow-mo taking huge steps because we were astronauts, and astronauts obviously can't be drunk.
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
Randomize
