It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
Randomize
