I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
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