Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
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