life is too short to starve
life is also too short to be fat
Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
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