All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Randomize
