some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
