You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
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