i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
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