Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
Randomize
