He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize
