i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Randomize
