It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
Randomize
