i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
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