He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
Randomize
