she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
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