I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
Randomize
