I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
Randomize
