question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
You're a waste of cheezeits
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
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