oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
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