allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
I think your dad took our porno
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Randomize