She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
Randomize
