I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
Best friends brother. Beat that.
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
