you win again, gameday.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Randomize
