we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
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