There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
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