Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
then he tried to convert me to islam
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Randomize
