I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Randomize
