why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
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