I'm really into asian looking animals
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
I had to cum in my sink.
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
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