I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
Randomize
