About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
Can't talk, ducks in the car
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
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