You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
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