is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
Randomize
