You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
as a side note pls kill me
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
Randomize
