508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
Randomize
