Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
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