ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
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