Is it normal to miss your booty call?
We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
I may or may not have eaten the rest of your birthday cake last night after getting blazed and watching harry potter.
i think you have the wrong number
so then it wasn't your birthday cake. k, cool.
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
Randomize
