I hope mine doesn't look like that
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
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