Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
Randomize
