i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
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