He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
Randomize
