Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
Randomize