I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize
