I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
Where are you guys?
Drunk
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
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