He disabled his match.com account in front of me
i would punch a child for taco bell
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
Can vaginas get frostbite?
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
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