my mouth tastes like poor choices
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
25 People Reveal The Creepiest Kids They Went to School With
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
17 Subtle Body Language Signs That Reveal A Lot About Someone
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today