i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.