i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
We're too hungover to prance.
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