How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
Randomize
