I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
I have tasted many bathrooms
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
Randomize
