hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
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