If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
Randomize
