You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
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