It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
You need Xanax blowdarts
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
Randomize
